


Whiplash

by peanuts_envy



Category: Hades (Video Game 2018)
Genre: Blow Jobs, Flashbacks, Intercrural Sex, It went badly, M/M, Theseus met Meg in the Underworld when he was alive
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-12 22:21:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29142897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peanuts_envy/pseuds/peanuts_envy
Summary: The stuffed bat had taken him by surprise, that was true, but that was not what affected his guard. No, of course it washer-- Theseus had felt his phantom blood run cold at the sight of her and he had no hope to defend himself, or even cower--which, regrettably, was his instinct.Megaera of the Erinyes."And thatwoman.I didn't even think she was allowed in the glorious halls of Elysium!"That had been such a comforting thought, once.He had not seen those hateful eyes since he was alive.After a run-in with Megaera in the Elysian arena, Theseus tells Asterius of his most Terrible Trial of All.
Relationships: Asterius | The Minotaur & Theseus (Hades Video Game), Asterius | The Minotaur/Theseus (Hades Video Game)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 95





	Whiplash

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by Theseus' most harrowing adventure: the time he went to the Underworld with his kinda-boyfriend Pirithous to steal the bride of Hades, got stuck on a rock, and was throttled by Megaera until Heracles saved him. Yes, he lost Pirithous to the cursed rock, but he also lost something more precious--some of his butt meat.

_'Hail, King of Athens.'_

The low, _hateful_ voice still rang in Theseus' ears. Megaera of the Erinyes, first of the Furies--and if the rumors were to be believed--companion of that _monster._

He saw the disastrous loss in his mind again: her spitting out his title like it was an insult, the vicious crack of her whip, then their--their _laughter._ Both of their demonic, unnatural eyes boring into his and delighting in his torment.

He was sickened. He ran the thought through his mind again. _Foul beasts. From the depths of Tartarus they come to besmirch Elysium with their hideous--their horrible--how dare they--_

Asterius sat quietly before him as he spiraled and fumed. They had been here many times before. If Asterius were to try to console him now, it would not reach him. He didn't _want_ to be consoled. He wanted them to _stop laughing at him._

"I just hate them, Asterius." Theseus finally said, teeth gritted.

"I know, King."

"If he had not caught me off-guard with that ridiculous _child's toy_ that he waved around, it would not have been so--so decisive."

The stuffed bat had taken him by surprise, that was true, but that was not what affected his guard. No, of course it was _her_ \-- Theseus had felt his phantom blood run cold at the sight of her and he had no hope to defend himself, or even cower--which, regrettably, was his instinct. _Megaera of the Erinyes._

Theseus shoved away his thoughts of her and all the fear that they brought with them. A useless endeavor. The thoughts blew through him, taking the last bit of his courage with them. _He didn’t think she could reach him here. What if she came for him again? Oh, Gods._

"And that woman. I didn't even think she was allowed in the glorious halls of Elysium!"

_That had been such a comforting thought, once._

_He had not seen those hateful eyes since he was alive._

Megaera was left out of Theseus’ retellings of his mortal exploits. Tales of humiliation and terror did not align with his image, and that was all she brought him. There was no honorable way to spin what had happened between them.

_‘Let us rest, Pirithous. We are going in circles.’_

_Theseus didn’t know if that was true, but he swore they’d passed this rock before--_

_‘Perhaps we should,’ Pirithous said at last. ‘Here, this rock is flat enough. We can get our bearings here.’_

_Pirithous climbed the rock easily, turned to pull Theseus up with him. They sat with their belongings beside them, and with their backs pressed flush to support each other. They would often sit like this, up on the surface, away from all this fire and torment. Pirithous against him was a familiar comfort, and Theseus started to doze lightly._

_‘Are you awake?’_

_‘Mm.’_

_‘We should get going, Theseus.’_

_Theseus made a noise of protest._

_It was becoming so rare to have Pirithous close like this. Wife, this. Wife, that. It’s all Pirithous would speak of lately. Was he really so eager to be rid of Theseus' company? Yes, they were getting older, but--_

_‘Sometimes I wonder if you really want to help me claim a wife, Theseus.’_

_Theseus was happy to be facing away from him, the hot blush of his cheeks would not be easy to explain._

_‘A fine jest, Pirithous.’ He hoped the strain in his voice was imagined._

_Theseus would have done anything for Pirithous; he had gladly followed him into the Underworld. Perhaps, in this, Pirithous would give up his foolish pursuit. Who needs a wife? You have devotion and companionship already._

_‘I can’t move,’ Pirithous said suddenly, panic rising in his voice._

_‘What do you mean--’ Theseus turned to look at him--or tried to--oh, gods--what--?_

_‘I can’t move!’ His voice was breathless now. Pirithous grasped at Theseus, the rock, anywhere his hands could find purchase--to no avail._

_‘What trickery is this?’ Theseus was panicking, too, trying to push himself up._

_He heard a laugh in the darkness. Theseus’ eyes darted in the dim light, looking for its source._

_'Hail, King of Athens.'_

_She had a cold voice and colder eyes--they glowed an otherworldly yellow that turned his stomach._

_'You should not be here,' she hissed at him, brandishing her whip._

_He screamed; a hollow, harsh sound._

_She laughed and laughed._

"Do you know of her?" Asterius’ voice pulled him back to the present.

"Of _course not_. I would not associate with such filth.” Theseus lied. He found it wasn’t as easy to lie to Asterius as it had been to Ariadne; guilt tugged at him immediately.

“She seemed to know you.” His tone was calm, accusing him of nothing.

“I am the Champion of Elysium and a king, Asterius. She would do well to know me.”

“Hm. The short one seemed familiar with her.”

“He is familiar with everyone.”

“King, you know as well as I, the rumors of--”

“Yes, I know the rumors!” Theseus snapped, flushing hotly. He did not like thinking about their terrible, writhing bodies, of the whip that was undoubtedly involved-- _Urgh. He hated everything about them._

Asterius was patient with him, shrugged off Theseus’ misguided bluster. The same as in the arena, much of the drama was for Theseus himself. His calm, dark eyes watched Theseus as he fretted, stomped around their quarters. It would not be long, now. His rage burned brightly and then faded; it was then that Theseus would tell Asterius what actually upset him. Asterius continued to wait.

"His _horrible_ , mis-matched--her, her _awful-_ -" Theseus clenched his fists at his sides. He did not like being bested by a woman, that was true, but he had known many formidable female warriors. No, what drove his surge of emotions now--

_Fear. It was fear._

_Megaera of the Erinyes._

_'Theseus!'_

_'Heracles!' Theseus did not recognize his own voice, it was hoarse and cracked from screaming. He reached out frantically for his cousin._

_'What are you doing here? I am to visit Hades, I did not expect--'_

_'Just shut up and pull! She's coming back, she'll be back--'_

_'Is that Pirithous? Theseus, what game are you two--'_

_A whip cracked in the darkness. Theseus felt his entire body react with terror._

_'I said pull!'_

"King," Asterius said quietly, reaching out for him. He wasn't ready yet, apparently; Theseus turned away with a strangled noise.

"I just hate her, Asterius." Theseus whispered harshly. _He would not let Asterius see how afraid he was._

 _Get it together_. He tried to muster up the anger from before, its heat had kept away the prickling anxiety that held him now. Nothing came but more uneasiness.

_If she could get him in the arena, she could get him anywhere. What if she were to appear in the gardens? What if she were to appear here, in the very bedchambers he shared with Asterius?_

He felt like he was again trapped on that hateful rock in Tartarus, frozen in place and gripped with terror. Shades didn't need to breathe, but he found himself gasping for air. _What if she came for Asterius, took him down to that horrible place where Pirithous still--_

_Oh, Gods._

"What about this stranger affects you so?" Asterius said slowly, watching Theseus.

"I knew her when I lived," Theseus said, his eyes on the floor. Shame mingled with fear as he admitted to his earlier lie.

Asterius had already known, sort of--Theseus' recognition of her in the arena was plain, as was his panic, but Asterius knew better than to push his unyielding King. At least, not when he burned so hot. Asterius had not expected this, however. He'd expected this fit of emotion was because Zagreus and his lover had so gleefully cut them down. A loss, but they had many victories to celebrate, and many more to come. The severity of Theseus' reaction surprised him-- _was he trembling?_

"I have never told you of it. The folly of my youth is nothing worth retelling."

"I would like to know, if you would tell me."

Theseus made a noise, a groan of protest. He clung to the shreds of anger that he could still find.

"Theseus, why do you hide from me? I do not judge you, as others have. I would listen, if you would let me." Asterius reached for him again and Theseus leaned heavily into his touch. Asterius held his weight easily, pulled him close and onto the soft bed next to him.

They sat quietly for a few moments, next to each other in bed. Theseus was unused to being vulnerable and wasn't so eager to rehash a painful and humiliating memory. Still, Asterius waited. He was always so patient with him.

"A companion of mine, in life, his name was Pirithous. He got it in his head that he would take Persephone as his wife. The fool that I was, I followed him. I followed him to the Underworld." _If he was going to tell Asterius, he would tell him everything._

_Heracles held Theseus by his forearms and tugged. Heracles was among the strongest beings in the universe--this rock would give or Theseus' body would._

_Theseus had hoped, perhaps foolishly, that he could still make it out of this ordeal whole._

_The pain that tore through him was unimaginable, but he was in Heracles arms--off of that cursed rock at last. Heracles then moved to free Pirithous, who had just seen how Theseus' removal fared. Pirithous was shaking his head. Heracles was already taking Pirithous by the hands. He started to pull._

_'No. He stays,' A cold voice said from the dark._

_'He is a mortal, he does not belong here,' Heracles answered, unafraid._

_'You know nothing of what belongs here, Son of Zeus,' She hissed back sharply._

_Heracles squared his shoulders, stared into the darkness. Megaera laughed at his posturing, and continued:_

_'He intended to steal the bride of Hades. This one stays. Take the other and go. Now.'_

_There was a finality in her voice. Her judgement was already rendered. Pirithous' fate was sealed. Theseus' was not._

_Would he endure eternal torment, for Pirithous? Would he go back on that rock, to be with him?_

_'Heracles,' Theseus rasped. 'Get me out of here.'_

Theseus did not know which part of the story was the most humiliating: his naive acceptance of the plan in the first place, abandoning his companion in the lowest pits of Tartarus, or losing some of his hindquarters on a cursed rock.

Asterius didn't laugh, didn't cast Theseus out. Theseus had watched closely for more subtle signs of disgust, too--a flick of his ears, perhaps a flare of his nostrils. There were none. Asterius just listened.

"And now she has come to Elysium, to torment me further." Theseus said wearily. "Oh, Asterius, if she were to take you I could not bear it."

Asterius tilted his head. "I have no plans to steal the bride of Hades. She has no reason to take me anywhere."

"But _Asterius_ , she looked right me, with such hate in her eyes-- She would do this to me, I have no doubt that she _will_ \--"

"She will not. I believe she simply aids the short one in his fight. He called her to the stadium with some kind of token. He has brought such tokens to the arena before."

Theseus sat with Asterius' words. _A token?_ He remembered a particularly humiliating run-in with the hellspawn where Achilles and his companion appeared. The foul beast had some kind of toy, then, did he not? When that boulder came from the heavens--didn't he have some kind of object with him, then, too? _A token._

"Perhaps... Perhaps that might be true."

"I do not think it was as personal as you believe, King. I don't think she would pursue you further. You are the Champion, in service to Hades. He would not decide to punish you this way, nor would he break the pact that allows me to reside here."

Theseus again let Asterius' words settle over him. Hades _had_ reprimanded him before--the incident itself Theseus couldn't remember, though Theseus feels he was wronged--for insubordination. The Master of the House had not sent the Furies to flay him, had not thrown him into a pit. He had been given a stern lecture about conduct and expectations.

Megaera's appearance in the arena was just another one of the daemon's foul magics--perhaps he even knew how seeing the Erinyes would affect him. Yet another arrow in the quiver of trickery that _beast_ sought to use against him. Theseus would not let his defenses be broken again so easily.

Asterius was right, as he so often was. He saw things in ways Theseus did not, showed him that there was not always one path. How odd, that the minotaur was the one to guide him through the labyrinth of his worries, again and again. Relief washed over him at last.

"Oh, Asterius. You always know the words to say to calm my heart," Theseus said, wrapping his arms around Asterius' wide torso. Asterius rested his chin on Theseus' head and snorted softly, the puff of warm breath made Theseus giggle.

"I am glad, King."

As Asterius held him close, the intense fear from before seemed like an even more distant memory. _Megaera could never take this away from him. He would not let her._

Theseus reminded himself--she was not trying to.

_But if she did--oh, he would be ready--_

Theseus shook her out of his mind. Why should she be in his head, after all, when Asterius was so close and so sweet? Theseus buried his face further into Asterius' chest. _Begone, Erinyes._

Asterius was glad that he was able to give Theseus this calm, that his fears were manageable and easily untangled. Theseus felt everything so sharply: his love, his doubts, his happiness, his pain. He often seemed ruled by his emotions.

Asterius felt Theseus start to press kisses to his chest and made an amused sound. _His lust_. So Theseus was indeed feeling better, as his thoughts had clearly moved elsewhere.

"Do you have something else on your mind, King?" Asterius asked, but they both knew the answer.

"I do." His tone was impish, and Asterius could feel Theseus smiling against his chest.

"As do I."

Theseus giggled again, in a way that sent heat and anticipation directly to Asterius' groin.

"Tell me what is on _your_ mind, first. I have bored you enough with my tales. I want to hear what you would do."

Asterius did not need to spin an entire tale; he took Theseus' hands and moved them to grip his horns, holding Theseus' gaze. _Do you remember the last time you held them? What we were doing?_

Theseus' whole body trembled and Asterius could see the bulge in his chiton. Theseus remembered.

"Lay on your back, Theseus. And you will have it."

Lust had dizzied Theseus' mind so fully that the clasps on his belt had become an intricate contraption from Daedalus himself. He let it be. Asterius would not need him unclothed for this, in fact they were in nearly the same situation the last time. A loss at the arena, anger and despair, and then--well, the losses did not hurt so much when he had Asterius as a prize.

His chiton was hiked up and he arched into Asterius' touch. Asterius spread his legs wide and Theseus groaned. _Yes. Gods, yes._

"Remember, you won't hurt me, King. I can take your strength." Asterius settled between his legs, and Theseus could feel warm breath against his cock. _Oh, Gods._

Theseus nodded and swallowed hard, resting his hands on the curve of Asterius' horns. Warmth engulfed him completely and he gasped, exhaling a moan. He whined and flexed his hands on Asterius' horns, starting to rock slowly. The slick heat of Asterius' mouth was intoxicating, as was the obscene feeling of using him this way. He was assured many times that the pleasure was mutual, but he still had worries that his beloved would too readily degrade himself to sate Theseus' desires.

Asterius let out a moan and rutted against the bed and the anxious thoughts vanished.

" _Oh, Asterius--_ " Theseus groaned and tightened his grip, thrusting more forcefully into his mouth.

True to his word, Asterius held steady and took what Theseus gave easily. His tongue pressed hard against Theseus' cock as Theseus rolled his hips--even his tongue was powerful--and he was already feeling close. _His beloved, his bull, oh--Asterius--_

Theseus curled forward, tense and shaking as Asterius continued to undo him with his tongue. He couldn't even thrust, he just held Asterius' horns and trembled. Asterius moaned again and pleasure tore through Theseus, not unlike the crack of a whip.

Asterius nuzzled Theseus' thighs as he came down, making him laugh breathlessly. Theseus reached down to stroke his cheek, the broad length of his snout. Asterius hummed.

"You satisfy me so well, my beloved." Another hum. "What of you, Asterius?"

Theseus saw all of the things Asterius might ask of him, all of them thrilling.

_'Your mouth, King. Your deft hands. Your thighs, how they grip me--' Perhaps Asterius will bend him over and take him that way, oh, yes--_

"King..." Asterius ran his hands along Theseus' thighs, unable to voice his desires. He was still not used to asking for pleasure. Asterius felt worthy and deserving of Theseus' affections; that was not the cause of his hesitation. The words themselves, saying them aloud to Theseus--that was difficult.

"Mmhm..." Theseus felt stirring in him again, his mind was running away with fantasies as he waited for an answer. He was not patient.

If Asterius was going to be shy, Theseus would ask in a different way. Theseus watched him, stretched out on the bed. _Where would you like to spend yourself, my love?_ Theseus licked his lips-- _here?_ He hiked up his thighs-- _here?_ \--held them open-- _here?_

Asterius stood off the bed and undid his belt, letting it fall to the floor. Theseus grinned.

"Shall I get oil, my darling Asterius?"

Asterius nodded and took off his chiton, Theseus watched him openly. _Oh, Asterius. So striking, so strong, so hard for him--_ Theseus shivered. _Focus. Oil--get oil for him so he can-_ \- Theseus was distracted again, there were so many wonderful things they could do, slick with oil. _What would his darling Asterius ask of him?_

It had taken a long time for Asterius to accept that Theseus' desire for him was no trick of the gods, that his devotion was not tied to a pact. Doubt still nagged at him, sometimes. When Theseus looked at him this way, however, doubt had no hold on him. Asterius felt suddenly emboldened.

"Oil your thighs for me, Theseus."

_Oh._ Theseus scrambled to get the vial, eager to indulge him. _A lovely choice._

There was unique appeal in this, compared to other ways they made love. Theseus definitely enjoyed Asterius spending himself while he was so very deep inside him, but this-- _Theseus would get to see._

The oil was close--Theseus would not go into the arena with an unoiled chest, obviously--and Asterius was over him as soon as the vial was in his hands. Theseus was hopelessly distracted again. _How was he to focus, when he was underneath Asterius? When Asterius looked at him with such love, such lust?_

Asterius took the oil from him and dripped it down the lines of Theseus' thighs, running his hands over them. His touch was reverent and gentle; Theseus' phantom heart thudded in his chest. _His most cherished companion._

Theseus leaned up to kiss him--he couldn't help himself--and tangled his fingers in Asterius' mane, holding him close.

Asterius hummed in approval and kept stroking Theseus' thighs; the oiled muscle under his fingers and the way Theseus moved beneath him spiked his anticipation for more. Asterius pressed his palm against Theseus' ever-hardening cock and Theseus jerked his hips. Theseus' kisses became more frantic as he ground against Asterius' slick palm with increasing abandon-- _distracted, so easily distracted._

Asterius made an amused sound and closed Theseus' legs, urging him to lay on his side. He held Theseus like he meant to pick him up--an arm hooked under Theseus' knees and the other along his back.

Asterius eased his cock between Theseus' thighs and Theseus whined, rocking his hips down. Asterius answered him with a groan and a thrust forward.

"Asterius--" Theseus whispered, too aroused to find any other words.

"King... _Nhh, Theseus_ \--"

Theseus tightened his thighs around Asterius' cock as he took his pleasure between them. Theseus reached down to stroke Asterius as he moved, along the tip, the underside, anywhere he could get his fingers. Asterius moaned above him and Theseus moaned, too.

"Asterius--" he whispered again, panting hard against the bed.

Asterius pulled Theseus into his lap and leaned down to kiss his hair, rocking gently between his thighs again. Theseus moved with him, delicious friction in and of itself, but his _hands_ \-- Theseus had wrapped them tightly around Asterius' cock-- Asterius pushed into Theseus' thighs, then his slick fists; the sensation was overwhelming.

"Is this good, beloved?" Theseus murmured against his chest.

Asterius clutched him closer and groaned an affirmative, which spurred Theseus on. He started flexing his thighs and jerking Asterius' cock in earnest, saying sweet words of encouragement and praise to him. This, too, was overwhelming. _Gorgeous bull. My Asterius. I adore you. That's it, ah--yes, Asterius--Asterius--_

Theseus heard Asterius' breath hitch and felt him tense-- _this will ruin my chiton_ , a far away part of his brain thought--and with a low groan Asterius came. _Oh, gods._

Theseus jerked Asterius with his hands until he finished, marveling at how much Asterius had to give. _Asterius was unparalleled, even in this. Perhaps especially in this. The best in every way._

"You are a marvel, Asterius," Theseus said, unable to keep his hands off Asterius' cock.

"King," Asterius said with a satisfied sigh. He leaned down to kiss Theseus' head, letting out a soft groan when Theseus squeezed him. "Theseus..."

"Again?"

Theseus felt Asterius laugh; a low rumble in his chest, an exhale against Theseus' hair.

"And again, my King," Asterius said, rolling Theseus onto his back.

Theseus was right about his chiton.

\---

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you, as always, to my wife for her edits n' suggestions! 
> 
>   
> [say hello on twitter!](https://twitter.com/peanuts_envy)


End file.
